Hamster Meets KickAss Cook
by Ashleigh Errow
Summary: AU oneshot about Sanji standing up for us girls. New chapters, cause it's just too fun to pick on the hamster. also major crack fic. be warned


OK so there's this kid in my class Matt who hates my friend Emily (random jelly beans) and we were talking at lunch and decided to write this. She actually wrote most of it i only did a little. but yeah i'm the friend Ashleigh and i came up with the idea i think em said i did anyway and well well Matt looks like a hamster hence the title and the other unmentioned friend is Gyllbane. (sorry em) anyway we'd like to dedicate this to Matthew he puts up with a lot from RJB, but he has done things like this to a degree, like he's kicked her in the shins and he actually plotted her murder in front of me and if Sanji went to our school he'd definitely have done this.

Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Sanji or One Piece and it would be weird if i owned Emily or Matthew

"Hey, Matt!"

The pudgy boy didn't need to look at the source of the voice to know. It was her. And she'd probably have her friends with her, too. He rolled his eyes and ignored the taller girl as she ran up behind him. She didn't seem affected by his blatant rudeness. It had never stopped her before. He glanced at her and noticed that one of her friends was,  
indeed, there as well. He didn't have anything against that friend, Ashleigh. Well, scratch that—he did have something—he didn't like that she hung around with her.

"Would you mind stepping back a few feet?" the boy asked condescendingly. She was annoyingly close. She beamed down at him, her eyes shutting. He suddenly felt nauseous.

"I thought we were friends, Matthew." she replied, mock sadness suddenly filling her face as her lip came out into a pout. She didn't move.

He tuned her out again, going back to putting on his ever-busy facade. He would never admit it out-right, but he liked to be known as the smart one, and as such, it helped to make sure everyone thought he was all business, all the time. And they did too—until Emily came along. She was just as smart as him and people seemed to like her._ Her_, as a  
friend. Not just a mutual feeling of non-hatred that he had received from his peers, but an actual friend. He didn't understand it. She was just downright odd. Peculiar. Strange. Weird. Bizarre.

"So," she started again, tying her long hair up behind her, "I need to tell you something. Important."

"Really? You have something important to tell me? Is this truly possible?" Matthew asked, feigning an intense interest as he leaned forward. He couldn't stand the fake way she spoke to him, so his sarcasm was biting. As usual, she showed no signs of hurt.

Emily tried her best not to crack a smile as she suddenly leapt towards the boy and smothered him in a hug, shouting, "I love you, Matthew!"

He thrashed out of her arms, his face pink. This was the third time this week she'd done that, and it was getting on his nerves. He turned towards her, glaring. Ashleigh had her palm pressed against her forehead, muttering something that sounded like, "Dork."

"Emily," Matthew hissed, pointing his finger at the girl. She turned her head towards him, her eyebrows pulled up in expectancy.

"Yes, Matt?"

"I cannot wait for the day that you are ripped away from your miserable existence on this earth."

She frowned. "Well, golly, that's not a very nice thing to say. And even after I confessed my love to you…"

That was it; he'd had it. He charged for her, blinded with rage. He didn't notice the other classmates turning to watch. All he could focus on was inflicting more pain upon the girl he despised above everyone else. He liked to consider himself light on his feet, but she easily slid out of the way of his first attack. He stopped and turned on his heel. He saw his opportunity as she tried to regain her balance from the dodge and he shoved her. The force was greater than he imagined; she tripped and flew right into Ashleigh. He watched with a satisfied smile as they both hit the grass.

But he wasn't done yet. Oh no, not yet—this girl had made his life a living hell for months. A simple shove wasn't enough to vent out all that anger. He walked over to the girls, lying defenseless on the ground, and drew his foot back for a kick that Emily would never forget. He was about to let it swing when a large hand went down roughly on his  
shoulder.

"Hey, kid," he heard a deep voice say from behind him. He smelled smoke. He turned around and hopped away, afraid of this interference. An extremely tall man stood there, his hands tucked into his pockets, his stance casual. A cigarette was tucked in his mouth and he smoke trailed up and wafted by his blonde hair. Matthew swallowed hard, his throat suddenly very, very dry.

"What do you want? Who are you?" He called, his voice wavering slightly. The man walked over and stood between him and the girls, who had just started to get up. Ashleigh's eyes glowed as she recognized the man; Emily simply smirked.

The man didn't answer, but instead chose to take a step closer to the much shorter boy. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and blew out a lungful of smoke, his eyes narrowing. The last thing Matthew saw before a black shoe came towards his face was the man's curled eyebrow.

"Don't hit girls, you shitty kid."

yay Sanji I love you. as Random Jelly Beans said "I'm looking forward to seeing the flames devour it xDDD" Review please. ' v '


End file.
